50 Ways to Make Them Love You

50 WAYS TO MAKE THEM LOVE YOU 5/17/08
“Well liked and popular” gets a bad rap. As if being disliked and unknown should be the goal. The truth is, being well liked and popular is only important if you care about being happy and successful. Otherwise, it’s overrated.

So, throughout the 2007-2008 school year, my students and I have been searching for what it takes to build the only capital more valuable than financial capital – social capital.

We came up with 50 skills/abilities. They came from asking students what qualities and behaviors they find most attractive, and from me observing socially sophisticated kids and adults.

1. Give small gifts. Know what people like.
2. Be able to talk. (Tell stories!)
3. Become the best listener you know.
4. Develop a sense of humor (self-effacing humor is good).
5. Have a cause. Care.
6. Verbally compliment or, better, write more complimentary notes to a wide variety of people.
7. Be good - or get good - at something. If you do, right or wrong, people will want to be around you.
8. If that doesn’t happen, at least work hard - hard workers get respect.
9. Be a good audience member.
10. Be able to ask interesting, thoughtful, probing questions.
11. Don’t be predictable. React differently. When someone falls, don’t laugh. Help.
12. Notice when people are sad or not themselves. Comfort those who look like they need comforting.
13. Tell people you LIKE stuff. When you don’t, say nothing. We like people who like stuff.
14. Be curious. Apathy is boring.
15. Be able to initiate a conversation.
16. Stand up for yourself. Have confidence (without being cocky).
17. Strive to be innovative and creative.
18. Be open. Be honest. Be real. Be willing to share your life. Tell the truth. Come clean. Don’t pretend to like something you dislike. Don’t pretend to dislike something you like. Honesty is incredibly attractive.
19. Buy something in the vending machine for the person behind you, even if you don’t know that person.
20. Write more thank you notes. Make them personal and specific.
21. Make a snack or lunch for someone.
22. Notice when people need help carrying things. Offer to help.
23. In a class where you’re excelling, help someone who’s struggling.
24. Save someone time. Clean, file, organize, run an errand.
25. Make someone a CD.
26. Print out a cool quote and give it to someone to whom it applies.
27. Give someone an appropriate book. (But don’t pressure them to read it.)
28. Color or draw someone a picture.
29. Say “Hi” to people you don’t know. (Don’t worry if they don’t respond. That’s their problem.)
30. When driving, let someone in.
31. Give away something good that you don’t use.
32. Leave an encouraging, happy, inspiring message on someone’s phone.
33. Text a compliment to a different person each day.
34. Take an underclassman to lunch.
35. Rescue someone from embarrassment.
36. Notice need. Then lend a tissue, pencil/pen, paper, personal items, a jacket, a sweater…
37. Physically, do the best you can with what you have.
38. Make an effort to acknowledge classmates outside the classroom.
39. Do little things. Close someone’s open backpack. Hold the door!
40. Shake hands, give high fives, pats on the back and hugs. When done appropriately and properly, the human touch is magical.
41. Visit, call or contact an absent classmate.
42. Be a good judge of character. Immerse yourself in positive activities and surround yourself with positive people.
43. Notice the small things others do. Let people know you notice and appreciate those things.
44. Stand up for and support those who need it.
45. Use people’s names when you greet and talk with them.
46. Know how to introduce people and how to be introduced.
47. Be able to talk about pop culture – a movie, a TV show, a sporting event. The more you can talk about, the better.
48. Make an effort to talk about the person you’re talking to, not always yourself.
49. Become educated. Most people like being around smart people.
50. Share food.


I'm in 7th period and the teacher just asked me to run a copy of some kind of animation thing for me so I went to the copy room, and while I was waiting for the lady to copy the papers I couldn't help reading this piece of paper taped to the wall labed "101 Ways to Cope with Stress". It reminded me of this "50 Ways to Make Them Love You" thing that my Government teacher taught us about, so I thought I'd share them with people who might come across my blog. (It's also up on his website. I forgot what his website was.. But I'll put it here in these parenthesis when I find out what it is. Hehe..) :>

I don't think I'll be posting up the "101 Ways to Cope with Stress".. There's too much to type. :<
But if you want a copy, (I doubt anyone wants one) I'll happily mail it to you.